Nephilim Network
by percamalec
Summary: A story where all of the Shadowhunters and Downworlders have social media, and everyone wants to be a part of the newest things; Throwback Thursday, Smack Cam, baes, TBH, swag, selfies, mains, sweater weather, SFS, Vines, and Man Crush Monday. Nobody likes Simon,Alec has username trouble, and the Clave and Magnus fight to have the most followers. And then there's the Swarkle-off...
1. Baes and Throwback Thursday

**So as of now, this is a one-shot. If you really like it, maybe I'll write more, so stay tuned!**

**Also, I decided to have Will have an account too, even though (SPOILER ALERT) he's dead.**

**I don't own the Mortal Instr****uments!**

"Hey, Alec," Izzy said as she sat down in the library. She had her laptop opened and seemed very absorbed. "What's your Neph Net account?"

"A what?" he asked.

She looked at him as if he was crazy. "Nephilim Network?"

Alec shrugged.

"The Clave set up a new social media site just for Shadowhunters and Downworlders."

"Izzy," he groaned. "You _know_ I hate social media!"

"Yeah, but this is required by the Clave."

Alec sighed. "Fine. Get me an account."

**A week later;**

Alec came back after the demon hunt and logged on to Neph Net.

By now, Alec was absolutely obsessed with it. Then again, so was everyone else. It seemed like everyone was always on. The Clave wanted more followers so it was mandatory to follow them. Unfair! Alec had barely one hundred followers, and they had had like, a billion.

He scrolled through his feed. Clary had just posted a picture of herself posing in front of Alec, Izzy, and Jace killing a demon. The Caption read:

**CrayFray:** Selfie with the baes! (and Jace)

Alec's username had NOT been chosen by him. Izzy had set up the account, and nobody would tell him how to change it.

**Comments:**

**GoldenBoy:** offensive much

**MagnificentMagnus:** sorry, Alec's _my _bae. :3

_GaySlayer likes this._

**GaySlayer: **so that's what you were doing while we were fighting for our lives

_IzzySizzy and two others like this._

**JoccylyynF: **I thought you were on a date…

**CrayFray:** Seriously?

**GrayWolfie:** wow, Joccey

**JocclyynF:** shut up Luke

**simonlewis: **uhmm, where am I in this pic

**GoldenBoy: ***squints* oh, I thought you were the thing we were killing :)

_GaySlayer and two others like this._

**simonlewis: **…

**IzzySizzy:** you were crying in the bathroom bc the salsa on the nachos was 2 hot 4 u

_GoldenBoy and 34 others like this_

**GoldenBoy:** oh yea. I remember

**Simonlewis: **wtf izzy

**IzzySizzy:** ;)

Alec kept scrolling through. Next was a picture of Magnus and some guy who looked exactly like him.

**MagnificentMagnus:** modeling with the main

Okay, who was this super-hot guy by Magnus?!

**GaySlayer:** WHO IS THIS. I WILL KILL. OMG.

_GoldenBoy likes this._

**GoldenBoy: **possessive much

**MagnificentMagnus: **Alec that's Godfrey Gao.

**GaySlayer:** oh, so he's YOUR MAIN?

**GodGao:** hi.

**GaySlayer:** WTH DON"T TALK TO ME

**MagnificentMagnus:** that's my cousin…

_GodGao likes this._

Not knowing what to say, Alec went to the next post. Izzy had posted a picture of her, Clary, and Emma. Simon as talking in the background, so his face was distorted and blurry.

**IzzySizzy:** excuse Simon's face… :P

_GoldenBoy and 23 others like this._

**CrayFray:** hawt!

**EmCarstairs: **qts!

**Simonlewis:** does anyone else notice that Jace always likes comments that belittle me?

_GoldenBoy likes this._

**MagnificentMagnus: **omg… Izzy WHERE did you get those pants from? I NEED THEM NOWWWWW

**IzzySizzy: **this mundane store called forever 21

**MagnificentMagnus:** omg I'm leaving rn

Alec rolled his eyes and came to a picture Tessa had posted. It had herself, Zachariah, Magnus, and another dude in it.

**TessieGray: **#TBT 200 years ago! ily herondale, carstairs, and bane!

**JemStairs: **ily2!

**GoldenBoy:** that guy's a herondale?!

**EmCarstairs:** that guy's a carstairs?!

**HeronWale:** ilysm and yes I am a Herondale

**JemStairs:** I am a carstairs

**MagnificentMagnus:** ahhh love you guys! (and Alec bc he will have another rant if I don't include him)

_IzzySizzy and 403 others like this._

**GaySlayer:** wooooooah woah woah…. First of all… IZZY YOU LIKED THIS? WTF ….. and second…. Magnus, that is so not true, and anyway, I thought you were going shopping at forever 21 even though YOU'RE FOUR HUNDRED YEARS OLD

**RobLightwood:** in other words, my son doesn't like you…. awkward

**GaySlayer:** DAD

**GoldenBoy:** YOU'RE A HERONDALE?!

**EmCarstairs:** YOU"RE A CARSTAIRS?!

**Heronwale:** I just answered this

**JemStairs:** what he said

**GoldenBoy: **woah my god I'm hyperventilating omg

**EmCarstairs:** what he said

There were still a ton of comments left, but Alec skipped them. He went through his pictures. He needed something for TBT.

He found a picture of Jace being chased by a duck. Jace had a look of sheer terror on his face, and the duck was flapping its wings and chasing him. Alec laughed and posted it.

**GaySlayer:** #TBT with the batai!

**GoldenBoy: **Alec. What have you done?

**CrayFray:** lookin hot, Jacella

**IzzySizzy:** im crying rn omg

_CrayFray and 98 others like this._

**Simonlewis: **heh heh heh…

**Myaaaa:** wtf

_BattyforBat likes this._

**TessieGray: **omfg jemstairs heronwale

**JemStairs: ** AHHHHHHHHHHHH HE'S JUST LIKE YOU WILL!

**HeronWale:** ducks are evil

_GoldenBoy likes this._

**KaeKae: **all I can say is that we're thru

_Meliorn likes this._

**GoldenBoy:** …we're not dating

_CrayFray likes this._

**KaeKae:** ya I just broke up w/ u duh

**GoldenBoy: **…

Alec laughed and saw a picture by the Clave.

**daClave: **killin demons with the Shadowhunters

_All Shadowhunters and Raziel like this._

**JiaJiaHallow: ** lol look some guy's getting impaled back there

_GoldenBoy and 1 other like this._

**GoldenBoy:** OMG I SEE IT LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

**JiaJiaHallow: ** IKR haha

Next was something from Valentine. There was a kid sitting in a high chair crying.

**Val _is_da_Morgenstern: **#TBT giving demon blood to the kids!

_Seb_is_Evil likes this._

**Seb_is_Evil: ** good times!

What the heck?!

A notification came up. Apparently Jace had tagged him in something.

Alec clicked on it and watched the video Jace had posted. Izzy and Simon were kissing- hard. About three seconds in, Alec walked in and screamed, then ran out covering his eyes. After he was gone, they resumed kissing.

**GoldenBoy: **my #tbt

**GaySlayer: ***shudders*

**IzzySizzy: ** Jonathan Herondale you better delete this post rn or I'm coming to your house.

_Simonlewis likes this._

**Simonlewis: **she's not lying. I'm with her rn and she has her whip out and is leaving.

**GoldenBoy:** ohhhhh you two were TOGETHER *smirk*

**IzzySizzy:** SIMON

**Simonlewis: **shut up we're dating do you expect us never to see each other?

**Simonlewis:** …..she started driving away

**Simonlewis:** Jace, I would hide

**RobLightwood:** wait, you two are dating?!

**GaySlayer: ***facepalm*

**RobLightwood:** Alec, pls don't comment anymore. Ur username disturbs me.

_IzzySizzy and 26 others like this._

**MagnificentMagnus:** hey, I like it

Alec groaned. He needed to fix his username.

**PrettyPrincess:** SI? YOU CHEATED ON ME? HOW COULD YOU?

**Simonlewis:** omg Maureen we ARE NOT DATING

_IzzySizzy likes this._

**PrettyPrincess:** yeah I can see that. WE R THRU

**Simonlewis:** YAY!

**PrettyPrincess:** omg Simon im so srry. I was wrong. I want u back, bby

**Simonlewis: ***groans* I don't accept

_IzzySizzy likes this._

**GoldenBoy: **don't worry Maureen. Simon's phone is malfunctioning. He meant to say "ilysm bby"

_MagnificentMagnus likes this._

**PrettyPrincess:** OMG SI! WE'RE BACK IN BIZ! ILY2

**IzzySizzy: **that's it. Im here

**GoldenBoy:** haha ya right….. do you happen to drive a cherry red Ferrari?

**IzzySizzy: ** aww you noticed! 3 *pulls out knife*

**GoldenBoy: **_Comment has been censored by the Nephilim Network team._

**Anyway, hope you liked it! At least a little! **

**~Emma**


	2. Author's Note IMPORTANT

**Hey guys! I think I'm going to write another chapter! *cheers loudly***

**Anything particular you'd like to see? Magnus's Man Crush Monday? Simon's Transformation Tuesday? Sweater Weather? Smack cam? TBH? **

**Give me some feedback!**

**~Percamalec**


	3. Swag and Sweater Weather

**So, I finally decided to write another chapter. This takes place on Alec's birthday, which is on a Monday, just to let you know!**

**Warning: cuss words in this capter!**

After lunch, Jace decided to check Neph Net. The first was a video Magnus had posted. In the video, Magnus was laughing as he talked. "I'm about to go wake Alec." He barged through the door, and said, "Wakey wakey, Birthday Boy!" Alec yelled, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M SLEEPING!" Magnus was laughing hysterically as he scrambled out into the hallway. A few seconds later, snoring was heard from behind the closed door, sending Magnus on another round of laughter.

**MagnificentMagnus:** waking the bday boy! Lol

_IzzySizzy and 2,304 others like this._

**GaySlayer: **no comment…

**GoldenBoy:** omfg literally made my day

**Simonlewis:** I wonder if izzy does that

**IzzySizzy:** oh, would you like to try? Let me remind you what happened when Jace posted that video of us kissing

**GoldenBoy:** *chants* do it! Do it! Do it!

**Lil_Lilith:** TBH: ur dad is rlly cool, but I don't know you that well.

**MagnificentMagnus:** ?

**CrayFray:** I wonder what jace would do

**TheRagThatFell:** Sfs?

**KittyCat:** ragnor ur a freaking warlock. Conjure some followers

**TheRagThatFell:** u know what Catarina maybe I'll conjure up some UNfollowers for you

**MagnificentMagnus:** sry, no sfs

**GaySlayer: **you know what? Maybe I should post a video of what happened the last time I woke Magnus up

**MagnificentMagnus:** I think I'll delete this video

**GaySlayer:** I think that's a good idea

Then Jace came across a picture from Jocelyn. Jace was obligated to follow Jocelyn; apparently if you were dating someone, you have to follow their mom. The picture was of Jocelyn in front of the lake. She was wearing a sweater.

**JoccelyynF:** sweater weather xxx

**GrayWolfie:** excuse me? Photo creds?

**JoccelyynF:** photo creds to Luke

**GrayWolfie: **that's right everyone… I TOOK THIS PICTURE! BAM!

**CrayFray:** omg mom. SWEATER WEATHER? It's f*cking JULY!

**JoccelyynF:** I'll wear my sweater whenever I want

**MagnificentMagnus:** correction: you should NEVER EVER wear a sweater.

_Seb_is_Evil and 21 others like this._

**JoccelyynF:** well then

**GaySlayer: **agreed.

**MaryseHadALittleLamb:** TBH ur sweater is gross

Jace wanted to add a snarky comment, but he knew if he did, he could kiss his relationship with Clary goodbye. So he sighed and scrolled to the next post, which was by Alec.

**GaySlayer: **can someone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me how to change my username? PLEASE!

**GoldenBoy:** no.

_IzzySizzy and 5,634 others like this._

**IzzySizzy: **never

**MagnificentMagnus:** I'm confused, why would you want to change your username?

**RobLightwood:** because it's disgraceful

**GaySlayer:** do I have to block you?

**RobLightwood:** don't talk to me! People might think we know each other!

**GaySlayer:** but we do know each other

**RobLightwood:** SHHHHHH

**MaryseHadALittleLamb:** r u kidding me, Robert? He's your eldest son

**GaySlayer: ** THANK YOU, mom!

**MaryseHadALittleLamb: ** but please get a new username

**MagnificentMagnus: **first of all, ROBERT IS AN UNGRATEFUL SH*T and second, I like your username

**RobLightwood:** excuse me did you just

**MagnificentMagnus:** you bet I did

**Myaaaa:** I don't even know why I follow all you Shadowhunters, you're so weird

_BattyforBat likes this._

**GoldenBoy:** first of all, it's against the terms of service to say bad stuff about Nephilim. Second, Bat is liking everything you post because he's a professional ass-kisser. Third, all you werewolves (except Luke) probably post pictures of FOOD and CATS and TOILET BOWLS and TENNIS BALLS

**BattyforBat:** okay I only post pictures of food

**Myaaaa: **racist much

_BattyforBat likes this._

**GoldenBoy:** actually I am not racist. Werewolves are not a race

**Myaaaa: **stereotypical much

_BattyforBat likes this._

**GoldenBoy:** no because a werewolf stereotype is that full moon crap…

**Myaaaa: **okay fine, you're just being rude

_BattyforBat likes this._

**Myaaaa: **omg bat stOP LIKING EVERYTHING I SAY

_BattyforBat dislikes this._

Rolling his eyes, Jace came to a post by Clary. She and Simon were posing in front of Java Jones, coffees in hand. Clary was one of those people who could make a duck face without looking constipated.

**CrayFray: **#JavaJonesSwag with the main!

**GoldenBoy:** ahem

**Simonlewis: **#DEAL with it

**CrayFray:** too sweg 4 u

**GoldenBoy:** what

**Simonlewis:** ERCHOMAI! we be coming to swagtown

**Myaaaa:** again, wtf

_BattyforBat dislikes this._

**GoldenBoy:** …

**CrayFray:** sweggity sweg sweg

**Joccelyyn:** swag it

**CrayFray: **… what

**Simonlewis:** back off joccey! We be the swagitty swaggers

**MagnificentMagnus:** sry but SPARKLE beats SWAG

**Simonlewis:** I don't think so

**MagnificentMagnus:** oh fine then. We can have a SWARKLE-OFF

**CrayFray:** yeah!

**Simonlewis:** so how do we do this

**MagnificentMagnus: **whoever types the most swaggiest comments on other pictures wins

**Simonlewis:** oh ya. We gonna win

**IzzySizzy: **Clary: tbh ur hair looks like it hasn't been brushed in a week

**CrayFray:** ur so jelli of my SWAG

Snorting, Jace prepared for an onslaught of 'swaggy' comments. The next picture was one that he, himself, had posted earlier in the day. It was of Simon, taken at Alec's birthday party. Everyone had been sitting together, with Alec and Magnus, and Jace and Clary. Izzy had gone to the bathroom, so Simon was left alone. He had been smiling at the moment the picture was taken, and Jace had photo-shopped fake tears onto his face, so it looked like Simon was crying.

**GoldenBoy: **#ForeverAlone

_MagnificentMagnus and 10,436 others like this._

**Simonlewis: ** WHY do so many people hate me

**Simonlewis: **I am the savior

**Simonlewis:** I stopped a f*cking war

**Simonlewis:** sacrificed myself for 5 idiots

**Simonlewis:** wtf

**Simonlewis: **f*ck no

**TacoLuver:** Jace- tbh I love when you make fun of simon

**GoldenBoy:** (:

**Simonlewis:** situvejd ;slfves ;ofc jq'wa

**MagnificentMagnus:** simon's got some serious #sweg there

**PrettyPrincess:** I don't understand, Simon's dating me. How is he forever alone?

**IzzySizzy:** ok simon, even you have to admit… this is pretty HILARIOUS

**iAmADuck:** hi Jacella

**GoldenBoy:** holy f*ck why are you following me

**iAmADuck:** may I have some bread pls

**GoldenBoy:** who the f*ck

**iAmADuck:** plssssssssss

**GoldenBoy:** pls! someone help me!

**HeronWale:** every man for himself!

**HeronWale:** no man left behind!

**JemStairs:** at least it's not a motherducking CANNIBAL DUCK! Lololololololololololol

**HeronWale:** not sure what to do

**iAmADuck:** I am following all Herondales

**HeronWale:** what

**LucieH:** I don't really care, I think ducks are cute

**HeronWale:** YOU ARE OFFICIALLY DISOWNED

**TessieGray:** WILL!

**iAmADuck:** I asked for f*cking bread!

**HeronWale:** HURRY TESSA GIVE HIM SOME BREAD

**TessieGray:** um… no

**GoldenBoy:** hurry! Just do it, Will!  
**HeronWale:** erghhhh… (types bread emoji)

**iAmADuck:** wow that was some yummy bread! More pls!

**HeronWale: **I ran out of bread! Tessa! HELP

**CrayFray:** so swag

**CrayFray:** ArTsY

**GoldenBoy:** ok babe, pls stop.

_GaySlayer and 438 others like this._

**CrayFray: ** talk about swagblock

**GaySlayer:** like a boss

**GoldenBoy:** ….

**GaySlayer:** cmon, boss it

**GoldenBoy:** I am going to block you if you keep making these comments

**GaySlayer:** don't BOSS me around!

**GoldenBoy:** srrsly

Leaving Alec to his own entertainment, Jace scrolled to view Magnus's man crush Monday. A picture of the Chairman was filtered and photo-shopped, giving the cat blue eyes and black fur.

**MagnificentMagnus:** ok so, I promised Chairman that he could be my MCM, but it's Alec's bday, so I blended them together to make… ALEC MEOW! #mcm

**ChairmanSparkle:** what filter?

**GaySlayer:** Magnus did you make Chairman a NephNet account?!

**MagnificentMagnus:** I'm sorry! I'm addicted to followers! I also made one for that little dust bunny you found the other day… and I made one for the two of us to share... and one for my dad…

**GlitterBunny:** hey

**SparkleMalec:** hi

**AsmodeusSparkle:** hi

**IzzySizzy:** omg! I have a Malec fan account too

**MagnusPlusAlecEqualsMalec:** hellooooo

**MagnificentMagnus:** that's kind of creepy

**daClave:** excuse us sir, it is against the Terms of Service to have more followers than the Clave. If you gain one more follower, we will have to delete your account.

**MagnificentMagnus:**but…

**daClave:** Terms of Service!

**MagnificentMagnus:** fine… I'll delete half of the fake accounts I have

**MagnificentMagnus:** there. Now I only have 2,453,782 followers

**TheRagThatFell:** sfs?

**MagnificentMagnus:** NO

Jace had to take a break to eat. Then, Clary showed up, so he didn't have time to check again until the next morning, at about ten.

**Simonlewis:** Take me back Tuesday AND Transformation Tuesday! #rodentswag

**GoldenBoy:** I don't see the difference

_GaySlayer and 657 others like this._

**TacoLuver:** good times :)

_All residents of the Hotel Dumort like this._

**Simonlewis:** shut it Raphael

**Cami_Belle:** the rat is cute

**Jess_luvs_ya:** eww no it's not!

**CrayFray:** and the swag lives on

**GoldenBoy:** BTA CLARY!

**CrayFray:** imma change my username to 'Swag'

**MagnificentMagnus:** oh yeah? Well, Im gonna change mine to 'SwagnusMagnus'

**Simonlewis:** SwagLewis

**daClave:** sorry, it's against the terms of service for you three to be swaggy

**Swag:** what? Why?

**daClave: **bc we've received numerous complaints

**SwagnusMagnus:** they're just jelli

**SwagLewis:** SO jelli

**IzzySizzy:** bta

Jace needed to do something about this infernal swag. He quickly typed up a post.

**GoldenBoy:** ATTENTION! IF YOU ARE FED UP WITH THE THREE IDIOTS WHO THINK THEY HAVE SWAG, PLEASE LIKE THIS POST.

_GaySlayer and 34,652 others like this._

**SwagnusMagnus:** wow there's still like 50,000 who didn't like it

**GaySlayer:** yeah bc ALL of those 50,000 accounts are YOURS

**SwagLewis:** cant touch this

**Swag:** doo doo doo doo. Doo doo. Doo doo.

**MaxLovesMarvel:** heh. 'doo doo'

A notification popped up, saying that Alec had sent him something. 'lol watch this video Izzy posted!' Jace clicked on the notification, and the video started. Izzy looked like she was about to laugh. She turned the camera so he could see Simon in the background, asleep on the couch. She turned it back to herself. "Makeup cam!" she whispered. She gently applied red lipstick and purple eyeshadow to Simon's face, adding a ton of blush. A little picture popped up: "Twenty minutes later." "Hey babe," Izzy said. "Hi," Simon said, looking like a clown. Simon walked into the bathroom, closing the door. A few seconds later he yelled. "WHAT THE HELL?" and Izzy snorted, laughing so hard her face turned red.

**IzzySizzy:** MAKEUP CAM w/ Simon lol!

_GoldenBoy and 3,421 others like this._

**GoldenBoy:** omg best day of my life

**GaySlayer:** lol stop clowning around

**SwagnusMagnus:** LOL OMG CRYING I AM CRYING

**GaySlayer:** he is; there are tears running down his face

**MaxLovesMarvel:** haha, Simon had to go doo doo

_GoldenBoy and 1,534 others like this._

**SwagLewis:** FYI I HAD TO PISS!

**GoldenBoy:** ur rlly not making anything better

**Cami_Belle:** OH MY…

**TacoLuver:** I love it

**SwagnusMagnus:** I AM CRYING

** GaySlayer:** he's an ugly crier

**SwagnusMagnus:**…

**SwagnusMagnus:** well. i… didn't know you felt that way. *sniffle*

**Myaaaa:** do I even need to say it?

_BattyforBat dislikes this._

Next was a picture of Simon holding a tiny ribbon.

**Simonlewis:** 3rd place in the bike race! They see me rollin, they hatin!

**GoldenBoy:** don't be silly, Simon! We hate you even if you're _not_ rolling!

_TacoLuver and 58,329 others like this._

**Tell me what you guys think, and if you want to see anything next chapter, drop me a review!**

**~Percamalec**


End file.
